The Exorcist

I started watching horror movies at a very early age. Momma & I had a weekend ritual. Go to the video store, pick out a couple of horror movies, wait until Papa and my brothers go to bed, watch and critique the horror movies while sharing a frozen pizza. She would let me watch pretty much anything. The only movies I remember not being allowed to watch were Faces Of Death, I Spit On Your Grave, and The Exorcist.

Momma was terrified of The Exorcist. She saw it in the theatre and thought it was the single most horrifying film ever created. Because of her fear of the movie, I developed a phobia of the video box. When perusing the shelves of the Horror section at the local Videos 4 Less I would dare myself to touch the box. I told myself that if I lifted the box and turned it over, I would stare into the face of evil & evil would follow me for the rest of my days. The funny thing about the box cover of The Exorcist is that it’s not scary. It’s moody and haunting, but definitely not scary. I just made up the story to make the movie that I wasn’t allowed to see into the ultimate evil.

When the movie was rereleased in theatres I decided to recreate Momma’s experience and go see it. They had edited in some of the scarier scenes - the crabwalk scene and the flashes of the devil. And guess what? I WAS TERRIFIED! This is not my ultimate scary movie. I think the scariest movie ever made is the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre and if I had a pre-teen daughter who enjoyed watching horror films, TCM would be on my Do-Not-Watch list. I’d probably let her watch The Exorcist, partially because I don’t believe in religious evil, but also because it’s not my ultimate whoa-hey-there-buddy-TOO SCARY! movie.

So even though I’m still pretty scared of that flashy devil guy face & I still think this is a totally respectable horror film, I’m actually more afraid of the video box than I am the actual movie. Fuck the cassette tape circulating in The Ring, VHS copies of The Exorcist is where evil truly lies. Thanks a lot Momma! By keeping me from the movie you made me afraid of the inanimate object that holds the film.

1:25 PM